I Don’t Want the Care They’re Recommending
If you can make this decision for yourself, you can ask questions, refuse a treatment, ask about another option, or change your mind about treatment that’s already started.
The important question is what happens if you say no.
If you’re still trying to decide whether the treatment is worth having, see I Need Help Deciding About Treatment →
If you’re asking on behalf of someone who may not be able to decide for themselves, see I Need Help Making a Medical Decision for Someone Else →
Find Out What You’re Deciding About
Ask:
- What’s it supposed to help with?
- What could happen if I don’t do it?
- What would you recommend if my priority is comfort, staying home, or avoiding more treatment?
Then say what you want.
“I understand what you’re recommending. I don’t want to do that. What are my other options?”
Be Specific About What You’re Refusing
There’s a difference between:
“I don’t want any more care.”
and:
“I don’t want this surgery, but I still want treatment for pain and other problems.”
You may be refusing one treatment, not every kind of care.
Ask what care can continue even if you decline this.
It helps to say what you want instead.
“I don’t want anything that keeps me in the hospital. What can we do instead?”
Ask that your decision and the conversation about it be documented.
“Please note in my chart that I understand the recommendation and am declining it.”
Before You Say No, Ask What Else Would Change
Depending on what you’re declining, ask whether it changes:
- the discharge or follow-up plan
- services being arranged
- equipment or medications you’ll need
- where care can safely be provided
- insurance coverage or eligibility for a particular service
“If I say no to this, does anything else in the plan change?”
Don’t assume it does. Ask what actually applies in your situation.
After You Say No, Make Sure the Plan Changes
If you’ve declined the treatment but the orders, discharge plan, appointments, or other parts of the plan still assume you’re having it, say:
“I declined this treatment. What needs to change in the plan now, and who’s responsible for changing it?”
A decision isn’t reflected in the care plan until the people carrying it out know what changed.
If You Want to Stop a Treatment That’s Already Started
Ask:
- What happens if we stop?
- Could stopping cause symptoms or other problems?
- Does anything need to be reduced or changed gradually?
- What care would continue afterward?
- Who should I call if something changes?
Don’t stop medications or treatments on your own when stopping could cause harm. Ask the treating team how to do it safely.
If the treatment no longer fits what matters to you, say so.
“The burden of this treatment is more than I want to keep taking on. What would care look like if we stopped?”
If You Feel Pressured
Ask the clinician to explain the recommendation again in plain language.
Then ask:
- Is this required, or is it my choice?
- How much time do I have to decide?
Being advised to choose something isn’t the same as being required to choose it.
Disagreeing with the recommendation doesn’t, by itself, mean you can’t make the decision. If your ability to decide is being questioned, ask what specific concern led to that and how your decision-making capacity will be assessed.
If you want help sorting through the decision, ask for a social worker, patient advocate, palliative-care clinician, or chaplain.
If You Want Comfort-Focused Care Instead
“If I don’t want this treatment, what can you still do to keep me comfortable and help me live the way I want?”
Palliative care can help with symptoms and difficult decisions while other treatment continues. Hospice may fit when the illness is terminal and the goals are shifting toward comfort.
For comfort-focused care:
I Need Help Understanding Palliative Care →
I Want to Understand Hospice for Myself →
If the Team Disagrees With You
Ask them to be specific.
“What do you think will happen if I choose this, and what part of my decision are you concerned about?”
If it’s still unresolved, ask for the attending clinician, a social worker or patient advocate, palliative care, or a second opinion.
If it still isn’t resolved, ask whether the hospital has an ethics consultation service and whether you can request one.
If someone is ignoring your stated wishes or pressuring you, ask for patient relations.
If You Want to Leave the Hospital or Facility
Tell the team before you leave.
If you’re leaving because pain isn’t being treated or something important isn’t being addressed, say that first. That may be a problem the team can still fix.
Ask:
- What are you worried could happen if I leave?
- Can prescriptions, equipment, transportation, or follow-up still be arranged?
- What symptoms mean I need help?
- Who should I call after I leave?
Ask for the safest plan they can give you, even if they recommend that you stay.
You may hear the phrase “against medical advice.” Leaving that way doesn’t automatically mean insurance won’t pay for the care you already received. If you’re worried about coverage, ask the insurer what applies to your plan.
If you’re told you legally can’t leave, ask why and who made that determination.
Learn More
Information about a patient’s right to refuse care, decision-making capacity, and how clinicians should respond when treatment is declined.