I Need Help Deciding About Treatment
There’s a decision in front of you. Maybe more treatment, maybe a different kind, maybe stopping.
You may not have to decide today. Ask when the decision needs to be made and what could change if you wait.
Nobody can tell you the right answer. But you can find out enough to make the choice yours.
If you’re making the decision for someone who may not be able to decide for themselves, see I Need Help Making a Medical Decision for Someone Else →
Ask What It’s Meant to Do
Treatment can do very different things. Cure. Slow things down. Buy time. Make you feel better.
Sometimes a treatment is medically available even when the expected benefit is small.
“What’s this treatment realistically expected to accomplish?”
“Is it meant to cure this, slow it down, or help me feel better?”
If you’re asked whether you’d want CPR, ask:
“If my heart stops, how likely is CPR to work for me, and what would recovery probably look like?”
Ask What It Will Cost You
Not money. Days.
Ask what your days would actually look like. That’s the part people wish they’d asked.
“How will I feel day to day?”
“How much time will this take, counting travel and recovery?”
“What will I have to give up while I’m on it?”
“Will I still be able to do the things that matter most to me?”
Money can matter too. If it does, ask what this will cost, and see I Need Help Getting or Paying for Medical Care →
Ask What Happens If You Don’t
This is a fair question and doctors expect it.
“What happens if I don’t have this?”
“How much time would I likely have either way?”
“Would I feel better or worse without it?”
Not having treatment doesn’t mean not having care. Ask what would be done to keep you comfortable.
Ask About the Odds
“Out of a hundred people like me, how many are helped by this?”
“What are the most likely serious side effects or complications?”
Numbers are easier to hold onto than words like some people or it can work.
If they can’t give you a number, ask whether the chance is high, moderate, or low, how certain they are, and what they’re basing that on.
If the answer is a range, ask what the best and worst realistic outcomes look like.
Ask What Else There Is
“Is there another treatment or a clinical trial worth considering?”
“Would palliative care help me feel better while I decide?”
Palliative care can help with symptoms, stress, and difficult decisions while treatment continues. See I Need Help Understanding Palliative Care →
If You Want Another Opinion
Ask whether there’s time to get one without losing an option.
“Do I have time for a second opinion?”
A second opinion may confirm the plan or offer another option. Either can help you decide.
Think About What You’re Trading For
The medical facts are only half of it. The rest is yours.
- What would make this worth going through?
- What would be too much?
- What am I hoping for right now?
- Is there something coming up I want to be well enough for?
A treatment can be medically possible without being the treatment you want. Those are two different questions, and only you can answer the second one.
Before You Decide
Know:
- what the treatment is meant to accomplish
- how likely it is to do that
- what your days will look like during it
- what happens if you don’t have it
- when you have to decide
If you don’t have all five, ask for another conversation.
Bring someone with you to listen and take notes. If recording would help, ask whether you can record the conversation.
You don’t have to decide in the room.
Learn More
Information about life-sustaining treatments, weighing benefits and burdens, and deciding whether to start or stop treatment.