I’m Grieving and Need Support
Grief support isn’t only for spouses, children, or legal family.
Friends, caregivers, neighbors, former partners, coworkers, and others affected by a death may need support too.
Grief can also begin before someone dies. This is sometimes called anticipatory grief.
You don’t have to wait until after the funeral or until grief becomes unbearable to ask for help.
Decide What Would Help Today
You may need:
- someone who will listen
- a grief group
- individual counseling
- support for a child or teenager
- help because grief is making daily life hard to manage
If you’re not sure what kind of support is right, say so on the first call.
Ask:
“I’m looking for grief support. What do you offer?”
If Hospice Was Involved
Call the hospice that cared for the person and ask about bereavement support.
Ask:
- Who can use it?
- Is there individual support, groups, or both?
- Is it in person, by phone, or online?
- Is there a cost?
- When can someone actually start?
The hospice relationship doesn’t necessarily end when the person dies.
If hospice wasn’t involved, you can still ask a nearby hospice whether its grief programs are open to the community. Availability varies.
Use Medicare Care Compare ↗ to find hospices near you.
If You Want a Grief Group
Ask a hospice, hospital, funeral home, faith community, or community organization what’s available.
Before choosing one, ask:
- Is it peer led or professionally led?
- Is it religious, spiritual, or secular?
- Is it for a particular kind of loss?
- Is it accepting new members?
- When is the next meeting?
The first group you try doesn’t have to be the one you stay with.
If it isn’t a fit, ask:
“Who else would you recommend I call?”
Free Virtual Grief Support Groups
The Institute for Spirituality and Health offers online grief support groups for people grieving the death of someone they love.
See current grief support groups ↗
If a Child or Teen Is Grieving
Start with the child’s pediatrician, school counselor, hospice, or a grief program for children and families.
The Dougy Center ↗ has grief resources for children, teens, young adults, and families and a directory of grief-support programs.
National Alliance for Children’s Grief: Find Support ↗
Find child and family grief programs, including free, virtual, age-specific, and anticipatory-grief services.
For help talking with a child about the death, use What Do I Tell the Kids? →
If the Relationship Was Complicated
Grief can include sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, regret, or relief.
You may miss someone and still feel relieved that an illness, caregiving situation, conflict, or suffering has ended.
Relief can be part of grief. It doesn’t mean the person didn’t matter.
You don’t need a simple relationship to have real grief.
If the Death Was by Suicide, Overdose, or Violence
Some kinds of death can bring added trauma, stigma, unanswered questions, or involvement with police, courts, or the medical examiner.
You may want support from people who understand that kind of loss.
AFSP: Suicide Loss Resources ↗
Support, peer connection, groups, and practical resources for people grieving a suicide.
GRASP: Grief Recovery After Substance Passing ↗
Peer support and groups for people grieving a death related to substance use, addiction, or overdose.
VictimConnect Resource Center ↗
Confidential help finding counseling, legal services, victim services, and other support after violent crime or homicide.
If Grief Is Making Daily Life Hard to Manage
Consider mental health care when grief is making it very hard to:
- sleep or eat
- work or attend school
- manage basic daily tasks
- care for yourself or someone else
- maintain important relationships
Say:
“Someone close to me died, and I’m having a hard time functioning. I need help figuring out what kind of care would help.”
Use I Need Help Finding Mental Health Care →
You don’t need to decide whether your grief is a disorder before asking for professional help.
If you’re having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988. For immediate danger, call 911.
If Grief Is Still Severely Disrupting Your Life Over Time
Intensity by itself doesn’t mean something is wrong. Grief can be severe for a long time and still be grief.
For some people, grief stays severe and keeps getting in the way of daily life over time. A clinician can help determine whether this is prolonged grief disorder and whether targeted treatment could help.
The Center for Prolonged Grief ↗ has information and help finding a clinician familiar with prolonged grief.
If Support Stops Helping or Was Never a Fit
Try another group, counselor, hospice program, faith or cultural community, or peer program.
If local choices are limited, ask about phone, video, regional, or national options.
You can also return to support later. Anniversaries, holidays, another illness, or another loss can make grief harder again.
Before You Stop
Know:
- who you can contact
- what kind of support they offer
- whether it fits what you need
- when you can start
- what it costs, if anything
- who to call if the first option isn’t a fit
Learn More
Information about grief, bereavement support, support groups, and ways to get help after a death.